My Enneagram Integrated in My Faith: Reflections of a Type Two.

Hello, my friends!

Thank you so much for sticking around despite my little blog hiatus. I wanted to make sure I could come up with original content all the while sharing what is laid on my heart in the process. Also, I have had my blog for a little under three years, so reading my older content makes me cringe. Personally, the longer I take on a hobby, the more critical I am on myself because I want to see myself become better and better by every blog post, photograph, calligraphy, etc. Nonetheless, it's the most important thing to let you all in on my life and share what the Lord has placed on my heart, even if it means being vulnerable.

Throughout the time I've not been writing, I've been super intrigued by the Enneagram, and occasionally spend my spare time looking at Enneagram posts on Instagram or Pinterest. For those who don't know, the Enneagram is one of the many personality tests that people take in order to justify why they are the way they are. In the Enneagram, there are nine personality types, and the test usually takes about 10-15 minutes to complete. I have been mistyped twice before figuring out my type. After several attempts of trying to figure out which type I am, I have come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, a 2 (also known as The Helper/Giver).

If you are a 2, this means that your basic fear is being unloved and your basic desire is to feel loved. Most 2's feel that they need to prove their worthiness through helping people. Those who know me well know that I love big. When I love you, I will make sure I go above and beyond to make sure you know that I love you, even if my love can be smothering hehe. I want to sacrifice my own time to make sure your needs are met, and I want people to want to reach out to me when they need me. Weirdly enough, it brings me joy when people need my help. It reminds me that I am needed and that my presence is valued.

However, one of the biggest cons about being a 2 is that I expect you to love me in the same ways, and it leads me to disappointment when I don't feel like I am as loved as I love other people. This leads me to be a bit more prideful than I'd like to admit.

Something I have had to learn every time I feel unloved or of no value is that I have to place my trust in Jesus. In my personal opinion, if Jesus Christ took the Enneagram test, I'd say He would be a type 2. He sacrificed his own life for you and I to live in complete freedom over our struggles and sins. For every time I crave acceptance from the world, He craves my acceptance even more, and I feel guilty for not always giving Him the time of day when I know I need Him the most.

"If I give all I possess to the poor, and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." -1 Corinthians 13:3

This verse that comes from the 1 Corinthians chapter about love reminds me that love is sacrificial. It reminds me of how big and how wide Jesus loves me. He loved you and me so much that He gave up His own life so that WE could feel loved and worthy.

I am beyond thankful for a God who sees me beyond my pride and loves me harder than I could love anyone on this earth. I hope that for fellow type 2's that may be struggling with feeling unworthy or unloved that you are reminded to let Jesus pour into you before you try to pour into others. He is the eternal cup that runs over.

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